第85节

    【】d.shefeltlost.herbestfrienduldnteveandher.ybeshead.ybesheshouldbeerryalready.ybethatsalpeopledideshethoughtsheshouldhaveboughttherulebookforifrievingilyandfriends.

    herusthaveheardeverythingshedsaidasoearrassedsheforatissue.herheadallhertears.sheearyfatheendofhershirt.

    “**”shesepapersoffherdeskassherealizedshehadsdgedfoundation,scaraandlipstickallalongthesleeveofherspensiveeshirt.shesatuptoattentionassheheardalightrappingsoundonherdoor.

    “ein,”hervoiceshook.

    chrisenteredherofficehteainhishands.

    “tea”heoffered,raisinghiseyebroiledeeringthejoketheyhadsharedonthedayofherintervieugdoofherandrelaxedinthechairopposite.

    “havingabadday”heaskedasgentlyashisgruffvoiceuld.

    sheearsrolleddosorry,chris.”sheposeherself.“itywork,”shesaidshakily.

    heissively.“holly,iotthat,yreatworker.”

    shesled,gratefulfortheplint.atleastsheethingright.

    “eearly”

    “nothanks,yndoffthings.”

    heshookhisheadsadly.“thatsnottheyselfihesedoeshings.notinthelongrunanyway.”

    “butyouseeappy,”hervoicetreled.

    “seengandbeiohesa.iknohat.”

    shenoddedsadly.

    “youdonthavetoputonabravefacealltheti,youknoissue.

    “oh,iotbraveatall.”sheblewheose.

    “everhearthesayingthatyouobescaredtobebrave”

    hollythoughtaboutthat.“butidontfeelbrave,ijustfeelscared.”

    “oh,es.theresnothingeadayagazihatstheworkofaverybraveperson.”

    hollysled,“ilovethejob.”

    “andthatsgreathanyourjob.”

    hollyfroanbysleepingunderaypechats.

    “iaoloveyourself,leatoloveyoueoretoitthanthat.”

    hollyraisedhereyebro.talkaboutthepotcallileblack.

    “iknonotthegreatestexaleofthat,”henodded.“butieaingtoo...”heplabshoughtabouttosay.“iheardyoudonttogotothisball.”

    hollygedatthefacthehadheardherphoion.

    eriesntainedineveryfloindedofher.”

    “didyougoback”hollyasked,sippiea,feelingitherinsides.

    “afeonthsago,”hesaidsadly.“ityself,thisisaplaesyoufeelit.”

    heleanedforepeopleghlifesearates.theyneverdo.youandidid,forashorterperiodofti.itssad,butitslifesoyougotothisball,holly,andyoueraeoneyoulovedandk.”

    tearstribergerryandbehappyaboutthelovetheysharedandtheloveshestillntiofeel;butnotto,nottoyeaforthenyreyearsthate.shethoughtofthelinehehadeeroureries,butpleasedontbeafraidtokesore.”sheoputtheghostofgerrythathauntedhertorestbuttokeephisryalive.

    thereilllifeforherafterhisdeath.

    fortyfive

    “iosorry,denise,”hollyapologizedtoherfriend.theyofdehereustysllintheairfrohedustthathadlaherailsandrailsoferaattachedtotheandrerdedtheirion.

    hollycheddenisesfaceforareaandsaolethollyknowasok.

    “no,itsnotok.”hollysatforeantoloseteeronthephone.justbeetherighttotakeitoutonyou.”

    deniselookedbraveenoughtofinallyspeak.“no,you,holly...”

    hollyshookherheadandtriedtodisagreebutdeontalking,“ivebeeedaboutthisightbefeeling.”hereyesrestedonherfriend,alltetthatshestillhadghoststoberidof.

    “butyhttobeexcited,”hollyinsisted.

    “andyhttobeupset,”denisesaidfiry.“ididntthink,ijustdidntthink.”sheheldherhandstohercheeksassheshookherhead.“dontgototheballifyoudontfeelfortable.toholdherfriendshands.

    hollyfeltnfused.chrishadsueededinnvinghertogototheball,butnof

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